I went back to my draft and tried to make a lot of my sentences more concise. I know one of the tips from our “Academic writing..” book is to make sure every paragraph and sentence has a purpose for being written. I also tried to vary the sentence length, although I think I need to go in and fix a lot of run on sentences. These are a bad habit that I have. I also definitely need to cut down some of my quotes but I’m waiting to do that until after the first peer review because I want to ask which parts of my quotes seem most important. I still haven’t written my conclusion or my intro paragraphs yet. I’m still waiting on these because I think they will be the strongest if I wait until the rest of my essay is fully written the way I want it to be. So, I might write the intro and conclusion after this first peer review, but I think there’s a decent chance I wait until after the second one.
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